James.Ryan (2)

Winter

...sometime later...
...the snow finally settles in...

...Christmas...

Stressful Normal Life

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Kristen's thoughts: Life has continued on its course. Work has been stressing me out more than ever lately, but it's good because it blocks out the pain in my heart. I keep pretending I'm fine in hopes that pretending will actually lead me to finally being healed. I think Nathan can tell I'm not okay still. He doesn't hover, but I know that he's ready for action, if anything were to happen. If I needed him... I feel so dependent on him lately. Is this bad?

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See The World

...several weeks traveling throughout Egypt and China...

Something in China...

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Nathan's thoughts: These trips have been eye-opening to say the least. I thought I just had a little crush, I thought I could fight it. I thought I could just pretend that I'm just the best guy friend. Well, I can't. I physically can't. Even just looking into her eyes, she leaves me breathless. I'm not hiding it very well anymore and I think she can tell. Shit, did she just blush and look away? I'm imagining things. Dreaming things that I want... That's it, I need to do something, plan something. Back at home, I'm doing it. I just need to know instead of constantly wondering... 'What if?'

Kristen's thoughts: How did he even plan all of this? How does he know exactly how to make me smile? How did I get so lucky? He's...is he staring at me? He's never... In his swim trucks, he's... no, no, I should stop. It's just romantic traveling through different countries, nothing more. Right? Oh gosh, I can feel the heat in my cheeks. He's smiling about it. Probably laughing at me. My heart and my mind is going a million miles an hour...

Both thinking: I can't stop thinking about it...

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...return home...
...unpacked bags...
...still thinking romantic thoughts...
...Kristen feels better, more healed than before, with other wild thoughts running through her mind that she feels she shouldn't feel...

Changing Back

Feelings Are Different, What Even...

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Kristen's thoughts: Being back home feels surreal. Work has been more than welcoming of my return, my boss actually sees how important I've been to the company. Nathan's music has finally started taking off, he's been managing and producing with several bands. He's really beginning to get noticed. I'm so excited and proud of him. He's always so hard on himself. He needs this. I'm still having weird emotions in my mind. But, overall the pain is finally gone. I don't know what happened. It took a several months but I feel whole again, that's why I'm back to being blonde, removed some tattoos... I did keep one, but not for bad reasons. There aren't bad reasons anymore.

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...a week later...